SURVIVING THE PAIN OF LONELINESS

Let’s start this one with a question.

When was the last time someone close to you, left you alone in your hard times?

It might not be difficult to answer with tentative idea of month or week or perhaps a day, but what’s difficult here is to think about the depressing times when your close ones abandoned you when you needed them the most. What’s even more heartbreaking is that there is no clear reason why they left you irrespective of your good or bad times, but they just walked-off with no concern at all, as if a connection never existed.

How it feels to be left alone is a feeling which can’t really be described in words, but what can be discussed and implemented in life is what can be done in such lonely times, to maintain positivity and high spirit. We tend to do a lot of unnecessary comparisons while feeling low, and also tend to share our sadness via social media platforms, along with choosing loneliness as the only companion even when there are family members and friends around.

Some of the following tips might just be the ones you need to tackle loneliness and the pain of being left by someone you cared for. Overnight transformation is of course not possible with such life hacks but still can act as stepping stones to survive through lonely times.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others
Just because you see someone having a gala time with their loved ones doesn’t mean their life is actually filled with happiness otherwise; Appearances can be deceitful. In times of loneliness, you may feel worse seeing others happy and together, as happiness seems to be missing in your life. Also, in such times, you may feel more upset seeing others in pain, as you tend to compare your pain with theirs. Such comparisons are not intentional but can emerge in your mind out of your sorrows. Avoid them as much as possible. Feel the power of "you" and stop comparing yourself to others.

2. Avoid killing time on Social Media
Looking at others on social media can have a lasting impact on your mind. However, virtual life of people is never similar to their real life. Scrolling through their social media posts and wishing for a life like them can generate negative vibes within you while having no clear picture of their real lives. Also, checking out random posts without any specific search at all just kills time with no fruitful results. For once, just try being away from social media for a couple of days and see if it helps. If it does, implement the same method for more time while you get back to your normal self.

3. Meet your friends instead of just calling them
It might feel easier and more comfortable to just pick your phone and call a few friends and speak about your sadness. Calls may go on for hours, not just minutes. But what’s the fun of calling or texting people or checking their social media stories to see what they are up to?
Instead of being glued to your phone, try to meet your friends personally and talk to them about positive things in life. If meeting people is not possible, try to pursue your hobbies such as painting, writing, drawing, gardening, dancing, etc. but just stay away from your phone and get into physical activities in order to feel lively and positive.

4. Try the art of Self-Dating
Self-dating might be the next significant step that you need to put forward. Just take yourself to a coffee shop and spend some time there alone, while you are actually not alone, with other people hanging out in the same café. Feel the vibe of the place while dating with your own self. While having a cup of coffee alone, you will realize that it is anyways not so boring or painful to be alone in life, and might just come around the realization of difference between alone and lonely. Rise above the feeling of loneliness and move ahead with a cheerful mood.

5. Exercising might help
Feeling the pain of loneliness and spending the time in your room is not going to yield any positivity and strength at all. Try moving out and joining a gym and exercising for some time and make it a part of daily routine. Although it is not a sure-shot method to get rid of the feeling of loneliness, but still an activity capable enough to make you feel fit and strong and better than before. The gain in physical strength and a better outlook gives immense motivation to work harder and do better in life. Hence, hitting the gym alone can definitely be a very helpful tip when feeling lonely.

6. Acknowledge what God has blessed you with
Now this is something that you should do every moment whether you are having a smooth life or struggling through the thick and thin of life. There might be things in your life that you tend to ignore but the same things can be a dream for others. It is a natural tendency to look forward for more and better in life, but at the same time, it is important to be grateful to the Almighty for everything that He has blessed you with.

7. Absorb Forgiveness
You may not consider forgiveness as an act of happiness, but in reality, it is totally opposite and I have not just heard or read about it but felt it in my own life. The more I forgive others for their misdeeds, the more I smile; Their happiness in being selfish is going to be temporary, my satisfaction in being kind is going to be forever. The more you react to others’ nuisance, the more you feel stress and anxiety. The more you forgive, the more you smile. Forgiveness takes off burden from your mind about what to do next, as once you forgive someone, you stop thinking about what to do next about their actions, and hence put a full stop to any kind of negativity that may arise from those thoughts. Absorb the art of forgiveness and contentment in life.

All In All:
I write what I feel. I have written what I have felt and experienced in my own life. Surviving the lonely times is rather difficult; bearing the heartwrenching effects of loneliness is highly painful. In such times, the tips I have written in the article have helped me remain composed and patient and happy to a huge extent. However, the thoughts are general and ideas are random. If you feel that the pain of loneliness is getting difficult to handle, consulting a professional therapist is strongly recommended. Meanwhile, the feelings of loneliness and sadness can be reduced with all the gratitude, exercise and self-care that you can adopt in your lifestyle.